Husband Writes Hilarious List Of Request 'To the Man Doing His Wife'
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Husband Writes Hilarious List Of Request ‘To The Man Doing His Wife’

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A man has been realizing for a long time that his wife is cheating on him. He had competent evidence in his hands. But he didn’t burst out in anger, neither, chose the way of divorce. Entitled ‘To the man doing my wife’, instead of throwing around insults or threats, what he was asking of him was actually very light-hearted and admittedly hilarious.

Some of the requests including to stop leaving the toilet seat up as he keeps getting blamed for it, to stop drinking all of the beer in the fridge when he’s away on fishing trips (which he thoroughly enjoys and to at least buy some more or leave a bit of money if he does so).

The husband wrote, “‘Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5-year-old son believes if it’s not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?

After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty (thanks).’

He said, “Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.

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The husband also asked that he stop turning the heating up and to say no when his wife asks, ‘Do these pants make me look fat?’ – not to be nice but to prevent her buying more pants.

He further wrote, “Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

But after all the husband wanted to thank the man for taking his wife for lunch on Valentines Day because on their own date, she was not hungry and ordered only one meal, so he saved some money there.

He also added that if the stranger sleeping with his wife could take note of all of his requests, he would reward him with the details of when he would ‘next be gone and for how long so that he did not feel rushed next time he was in his house.

The hilarious chilled husband concluded, ‘P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks, This was not written by anyone named Jack S.’

The full letter from Metro:

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

  1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
  2. You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (god knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
  3. If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
  4. Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?
  5. After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
  6. Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.
  7. Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
  8. When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
  9. Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
  10. Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too) has a groove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not written by anyone named Jack S.

Abhisikta Ganguly
Abhisikta Ganguly
I am an ordinary girl with extraordinary dreams which I live with to fulfill. People find me to be an upbeat, self-motivated team player. I will work until my idols become my rivals. I love adventures and love to explore the unknown from the very known thing. Besides, I love singing, writing and reading stories, listen to music and watching cartoons and movies.

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